Rao-Bai Transformations

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So, what are Rao-Bai transformations? Are they something like Fourier transformations? Nope, I do not dare write about some things in life, which gave me many sleepless nights. Despite putting many night-outs I never managed to understand stupid Fourier transformations anyway. So, I can not write about that.

Rao-Bai transformations are particular to Karnataka as far as I know. These transformations act on men and women of Dharwad quite frequently. Recent studies have observed that over the years number of Rao-Bai transformations has gradually decreased. Rationale for this decrease is presented at the end.

Rao-Bai transformation may be defined as the process by which "Rao" is suffixed to the name of the male and "Bai" is suffixed to the name of the female. This is the technical definition.

As a pre-requisite to understanding Rao-Bai transformations, you need to be comfortable with some amount of Dharwad Kannada and methods of addressing a person in Dharwad Kannada.

Let us study Rao-Bai transformations in detail. For example, the process by which Anant becomes Anant Rao, Madhwa becomes Madhwa Rao, Prahlad becomes Prahlad Rao is Rao transformation. In the same way the process by which Vatsala becomes Vatsala Bai, Pushpa becomes Pushpa Bai, Radha becomes Radha Bai is Bai Transformation.

Genesis of Rao-Bai transformations is interesting. Nobody is born with a suffix of Rao or Bai. There are two known special cases though. One is Anna Rao. Anna Rao is not an example of Rao transformation. It is like a basic data type not a derived one. So, you have to be careful about this particular case. So is Sundra Bai. This is not an example of Bai transformation.

A person’s name undergoes a series of transformations depending upon variety of factors. Let us analyze Rao Transformation on one name Shrinivas and Bai transformation on the other name Pushpa. You can similarly analyze other names as self-perfecting exercises in Rao-Bai transformations.

When we present the canonical representation (whatever it means) of Rao Transformation on Shrinivas, it is written as below:

Shrinivas to Shinu to Sheenanna to Sheenappa to Sheenya to Sheens to Shrinivas Rao.

Canonical representation (whatever it means) of Bai Transformation on Pushpa:

Pushpa to Pushpavvi (Pushpa +Avvi) to Pushputti (Pushpa+Putti) to Pushpi to Push to Pushpa Bai.

(Note: Your author does not yet know UML (Unified Modeling Language) very well. But, you can easily represent the Rao-Bai transformation using UML notations to improve clarity.)

Shrinivas is the name given on the naming ceremony. The household folks transform that to Shinu out of love, affection or some other unknown factor. Shinu also has a clone transformation of Sheenanna. Point to be noted is that these two clones exist together. You can even see dads calling out their sons "Sheenanna!! Sheenanna!!" on some desperate occasions like being chased by a mad dog or an insane pig on animal-friendly streets of Dharwad.

Shrinivas grows up and starts going to the school and two more transformations take place namely Sheenya and Sheenappa. Sheenya is the friend transformation (like friend function for OOP enthusiasts) in the sense that it is performed by friends in the school.
Sheenappa is the successor transformation of Sheenu especially by the women folks in the household. When folks around Shrinivas are irritated, Sheenappa is often used.

We already noted that Sheenya is the friend transformation. Virtual friend transformations like KoLak Sheenya if Sheenya is too lean or Dhabb Sheenya if Sheenya is oversized or Karap Sheenya if Sheenya is rather dark, also operate from time to time on Sheenya transformation.

Scope of Sheenya transformation is life long for friends and will remain like that irrespective of other transformations active at different points of time.

We examined how Shrinivas to Sheenya underwent many rapid transformations. Sheenya transformation stabilizes for some years till Shrinivas passes out of PUC II.

Transformation that leads to fanciest of all the transformations is Sheens. Usually takes place after Sheenya passes PUC. Dad’s pocket becomes real light after shelling out only a few grands (to the tune of 25-40) for an engineering seat.

Sheenya enters the portals of the engineering college. That’s where Shrinivas gets to know elegant northies with real fancy names like Arjit Chopra, Indranil Banerjee and starts suffering from a strange complex. Root of the complex is none other than not-so-fancy name, Shrinivas. Luckily for Shrinivas, new friends understand his problem related to naming abnormality and vow resolve this name space issue.

Friends with fancy names decide to bring about a new transformation and that results in Sheenya becoming Sheens. That gives him a big boost to socialize and engage in all sorts of extra-curricular activities with northy babes with equally fancy names like Niharika Bedi, Nikita Singh Mandeep Kaur etc. If not for Sheens transformation our man would have really felt odd to interact with fancy babes with a dumbo name like Shrinivas (as perceived so by Shrinivas himself).

Sheens transformation also brings about a radical change in all aspects of Shrinivas’s personal and not-so-personal life. Religious and simple Sheenya becomes vague after Sheens transformation. Major noticeable change is his hairstyle. Sheenya who used to get a real close crop cut (i.e. military or Gandhi cutting in Dharwad lingo) every month postpones the hair cut for just few months to grow a nice shoulder length mop.

Sheens also becomes too conscious about his body and starts pumping the iron at a local ‘Vyaayamshala’ to get rid of virtual transformations like KoLak Sheenya, Dhabb Sheenya etc.

Sheens transformation is highlighted by exposure of the generation gap especially with his dad. On everything, ranging from hairstyle to clothes, they disagree. Sheens likes only bullet-shot jeans where as dad finds his son not introduction-worthy in those. Arguments over the hairstyle are better said the less. What Sheens’ father fails to understand is the fact that Sheens belongs to the era of Sunjay Dutt and dad belonged to the era of Sunil Dutt.

Fancy Sheens transformation also requires Shrinivas to get trendy clothes and shoes. This further depletes dad’s valet. Sheens develops an irresistible urge to acquire a two wheeler. Does not matter even if it is a Carnot engine. (Carnot Engine is a hypothetical internal combustion engine with 100% efficiency. In Dharwad lingo, all old dilapidated and ready-to-scrap two wheelers are called Carnot Engines. Credit for coining this term goes to a very good friend of mine.) Somehow Sheens manages to acquire a Carnot Engine from a scrap shop. At this moment, Sheens confidence level is directly proportional to the horsepower of his bike. With a Carnot engine at his disposal, Sheens tries to put a lot vibes with babes in the college. But, he miserably fails to hit upon a single worthy babe of his choice.

There is always a quarrel within the house as his parents do not endorse his all activities especially his budget for petrol, clothes and sundry expenses. Mother is concerned that Sheens may bring home some female as a permanent resident whose name can not undergo Bai transformation (explained later).

Sheens transformation lasts for a few years depending on the ability of Shrinivas to pass out ranging from 4 years to 8 years. Folks in the family do not want Sheens to venture out of Hubli-Dharwad for obvious reasons. Sheens is out of the collage and is looking out for a job. Sheens dad uses his influence to get him a job with Kirloskar or BDK where he will meet all his school-time friends. Sheens misses his northy friends like Chopra and Khanna here and finds only Patils, Kulkarnis and Aacharis all around.

Sheenya’s dreams of Niharika Bedi or Nikita Singh just fade away. Moreover there was also no commitment from them to our Sheenya. Sheenya marries Savitri and then effects the last transformation of Shrinivas Rao. Athletic build of Shrinivas is the fist one to suffer out of this transformation with a potbelly and expanding midriff.

Now he is Shrinivas Rao. Call him by other transformations and he is just immune to them. You can see him running anti-clockwise around Ranghvendra Swami math on Thursdays. The perfect way to identify the ultimate application of Rao transformation is to observe how high-school girls start addressing Sheenya. Every time they utter Kaaka (Uncle), it establishes the proper application of Rao transformation.

Pushpa to Pushpa Bai is altogether a different story. Pushpa is the given name (FYI Pushpa and Vijay are supposed to be the commonest names according to an informal survey in my neighborhood).

Pushpa+Avvi = Pushpavvi is the transformation applied to toddler Pushpa by her dad as daughters are always dad’s pet (and nightmare later though).

Pushpa + Putti = Pushputti is another similar transformation which has an exact termination factor in terms of time. Pushpa starts insisting on going to women only saloon for a hair cut rather than going to Royal Hair Cutting Saloon along with her dad for a baby-cut and this act of declaration women’s liberty marks the end of Pushputti transformation in black and white. (Note: Baby-cut is the only female hairstyle that a male barber in Dharwad knows. He can do that even blindfolded. Just ensure that the head he is operating on belongs to a girl. Otherwise anybody with this notorious hairstyle called baby-cut looks like Puttis.)

Pushpi is the friend transformation similar to Sheenya transformation. Virtual transformations like KoLaki, Dhabbi etc. do not operate so easily here. May be girls are more considerate to each other’s anomalies in the body contours. However, boys use them on girls very fluently to facilitate the eve-teasing transformation, which is a subject in its own right and is beyond the scope of this article.

Push is my favorite transformation. Pushpa finishes her PUC and much against her mom’s wish, her dad decides to make her an engineer. Since he cares for his daughter, he is interested only in CS or E&C as knows work environments are good in those fields. He raises all the possible venture capital (educating a girl to be an engineer is an appreciable venture and hence the term venture capital) to pay 90K for a CS seat.

Pushpa has the same problem as Shrinivas because of her not-so-stylish name. Several angels from north, south, east and west descend on her college and she is dumb struck at all the glitter and glamour that accompany those metro bred girls. Pushpa sounds rather drab if she were to interact with already mentioned fancy named babes and guys. She also suffers from identical complex that Sheenya suffered during his initial days on the portals of professional education.

So, people like Niharika Bedi, Mandeep Kaur and Choo Chi Wong (her Malaysian friend) get together and change her name to Push by implementing a transformation. Wow, what a pushy/cushy name ? Once this Push transformation is applied, it gives her an air of comfort, confidence and ease to cruise along NH4 glued intimately to the back of Mohammed Khaleed her flamboyant and debonair classmate from Kashmir to watch Basic Instinct movie in Amrit theater.

Push transformation also comes with several headaches for parents. Mom who never endorsed her dad’s decision to put her in the engineering college becomes very suspicious and checks all her books, bags etc like a sleuth with a honest intention that her daughter does not elope with someone whose name does not meet the requirements of Rao Transformation. Equitable to the concern of Sheenya’s mom about a hypothetical girl not meeting the Bai transformation. Push still thinks that there exists a good possibility of Mohammed Khaleed becoming Mohammed Rao Khaleed.

Push also takes anywhere between 4 to 8 years to get out of the college depending on the time she spends with Mohammed (Rao) Khaleed. "Huh!! Go and get a life" says Mohammed Khaleed just canceling the net effect of their association so far before flying to Gulf to work in an oil refinery.

Pushpa’s parents are in a big time search to find a suitable groom within accessible proximity. Push resigns herself to fate and takes a faculty position at the same college as a pass-time and to remember the good old days at the same place with Mohammed who did not become Mohammed Rao defying the universally set transformation for the guys from Pushpa’s community.

Pushpa is finally engaged to marry Madhwa (currently under Madhya transformation) an engineer working for ShaktiNagar Thermal Plant near Raichur. There can not be any comparison between initial assumed destination of Kashmir with hypothetical Mohammed Rao and final realistic destination of Raichur with real Madhawa Rao. Destiny rules and marriage takes place effecting two simultaneous transformations namely Push to Pushpa Bai and Madhwa to Madhwa Rao on bride and the groom respectively. Subsequently you can find Pushpa Bai circling Rayar Math every Thursday in a clockwise direction. Litmus test to confirm the occurrence of Bai transformation is to observe how kids address an apparently Bai transformed woman. If they yell Kaaki, Kaaki (Auntie, Auntie) then it is as clear as the writing on the wall that Bai transformation has taken place.

Number of occurrences of Rao-Bai transformations over the years is on decline. It is mainly attributed to recent baby boomers preferring to name their kids with those names, which are hard to be transformed. For example, people name kids Pinchoo, Tinku, Munna, Guddi, Dolly, Pinky (or monkey) etc.. Moreover transformed names like Munna Rao or Pinky Bai are so arbit that they are better off without divine Rao-Bai transformations. So, I do not mind a decrease in Rao-Bai transformations rather than accepting distorted transformations.

There is a similar transformation called Gowda-Gowdthi transformation also. For example Fakirappa becomes Fakir Gowda and Basamma becomes Basamma Gowdthi. I am not very knowledgeable to write on that, as I do not have a first hand experience. Moreover, it is pretty similar to Rao-Bai transformation with couple of rural parameters here and there.

So, keep extrapolating on these transformations and I bet you will be able to pass your time very productively by taking a name and applying these transformations one by one. This exercise also can give a peep into your lovely childhood, foolish adolescence and tasteless adulthood.