Once VC reprimanded this poor guard very sternly. He was threatened that
he would be laid off if he did not do his job efficiently. Fearing like a H1B in a
dot.com, he became serious for a few days and mercilessly chased all lovelorn couples away from  their respective positions behind their proprietary bushes and shrubs.

There was this very beautiful girl who was little too fast with everything
she did. Since there was no comparable local guy to scale up to her beauty, she looked to "outsource" her desire for a boyfriend. There emerged a cupid vendor with a broken tooth. Damn it! She went steady with him while still in the tenth standard. Holy! Moly! Unimaginable for others.  I think "outsourcing" worked too well and they wanted to try the eternal  bliss. So, where
to go? There are only few options for people who want to illegally "bust cherries" in Dharwad. One, you go to a "Shetty Lodge" and ask for a room. Since, "Shetty
Lodges" are notorious for flesh trade, you better be careful because police raid
them very often and can take anything in bribe including your girlfriend. So, only
professionals ever went to "Shetty Lodge" and amateurs stayed away from them especially after reported incidents of (wo)manhandling of innocent couples during some police raids.  Second option was to influence "Kuduk Mohammed" of KCD badminton court and see if he could rent his shack in the badminton court for few hours. Mohammed normally did so for a fee but it is difficult when he is drunk (which he always is). If not in right mood, he used to ensure that your "ijjat mitti mein milgaya" by shouting at the top of his voice "yaak-pa haaLi sudlikke byaare jaga siglillenu?" (Didn't you get a better place to burn paper?). You, accompanied by your sweet love, would not want to be yelled
at like that with several boys' hostels around. But, if you have right contacts, "Kuduk Mohammed" and his den with stinking bed are the best - safe from the long arms of law. Third option is to go to botanical garden. It is like an open-air theatre, no privacy.
So, dusk is the best time to go there if intended on performing the act of creation. Nights are  too scary with all kinds of snakes and insects, which do not differentiate between your  pants and their natural habitats.

Coming back to the story of this beautiful girl. This broken tooth Romeo
read poetry in the reverse order to his sweetheart ("uLti paTTi padadiya") and exhorted  her  to join him for a "once-in-a- lifetime" experience. Since SSLC exams were still far off and not being able to wait till the right time, the girl waved the green flag and one Sunday, during a hot afternoon ("mata mata madhyanha"), they landed up at the botanical garden. This guy's intentions were not too clean for the grand event. No idea if the  girl had any idea of that. Boy unloaded the girl first and then rest of the stuff from his bike and walked deep and deep into the botanical garden so that no animal could easily spot him or her. Since the boy had surveyed the botanical garden just a few days back, he knew
exactly where he was going. Behind a large tree, he felt safe and secure.

Boy had come prepared. He spread a "zhamkhaani" (i.e. thick hand-woven rug)
on the ground. He spread one more over that and made it like a nice and smooth mattress. Boy and girl sat there. Boys especially below 22 years have a lot of  misconceptions   about the expectations of the opposite sex. He too got little annoyed when his girlfriend did not welcome his moves very positively. Moreover, he started feeling diffident that his skills in seducing a woman were not up to the expectations of his ladylove. I guess she had more problems with his "chutta" saturated breath than his caressing moves.
What he needed was a good breath-mint but he thought something else.
What to do? He remembered his "guru" near "Sapthapur Bhaavi" who was a
veteran of several "Shetty Lodge" experiences and had even conquered the fields of "Ram Nagar" and "KoNNur Katri" on NH4. Broken tooth stud thought he should quickly get to his guru and get some ideas in the art of seduction so that he could "bust this cherry" and move on to another "about to bloom flower".

So, he told his lady that he was heading out to get some food and asked
her to relax on the 'zhamkhaani'. Girl did not have an option but to stick around. Hot afternoon, under the shade of a huge tree, cool air blowing, hormones raging, emotions in the overdrive, she just relaxed and waited for the unknown. Worst thing then happened!

This watchman, who was threatened by VC just a few days ago, was over
zealous. Even after a heavy meal on that Sunday afternoon, he trekked deep into the botanical garden and found our lady. He was furious. His fury erupted like a volcano particularly after he saw the meticulous arrangement of "zhamkhaani" for the grand "ceremony". He was brutally honest that day. He yelled at the girl. His yelling was a balanced combination of choicest expletives and fatherly care. Fatherly care was towards the girl and choicest expletives were against the 'harraamkhor' boy. He ordered the girl to packup and leave at once.

What's left? Poor girl was shivering for a variety of reasons. This was worse than the lizard like touch from her "chutta" smelling boyfriend. She hurriedly folded
the two "zhamkhaanis" and followed the watchman. Watchman did not forget to give   her a brief version of the previously imparted discourse, once again, before sending her off the main iron gate of the botanical garden.

Girl could not even wait at the botanical garden main gate because sight
of two heavy "zhamkhaanis" over her wide but delicate shoulders did not look reasonable  and she was not meant to lug "zhamakhanis" by any chance. But, today there was no  option. Watchman further ordered her to move towards the bus stop and catch a bus going via AIR (i.e. All India Radio).

She started moving slowly towards the bus stop. Since it was a Sunday
afternoon, not many people were around to enjoy the scene. By the time she had walked a   few steps; her boy friend showed up. He almost fell from his bike looking at his girlfriend with all the paraphernalia. Girl probably told him everything. He quickly unloaded "zhamkhanis"
from her and they both left the KUD campus as fast they had come.

Watchman who shared this interesting story with me over innumerable cups
"haap cha" (i.e. half a cup of tea) got up to leave saying "yella halkat huduguru
nodri" (i.e. all nasty boys, you see) thus globally maligning all guys. By then more notorious news was in the air about the boy and the girl and this confession of a poor watchman to his good friend (yours truly) was a like a drop of water in Bay of Bengal. But, their Adam and Eve escapade in the Garden of Eden was a disaster. Naughty guys scribbled on the walls everywhere "KLPD for <boy's name> and <girl's name>".

By
Bra-H-Min
(Bra_h_min@hotmail.com)